On Graduating and Chasing Chipmunks

This week, my fiance and my sister graduated back-to-back, earning a Masters and two Bachelors degrees, respectively. Clearly, I am incredibly fortunate to be part of a family that kicks academic butt. I am so proud of them.

One moment in the speaker’s address for the Masters commencement caught my attention. He was praising the graduates for their innovation and perseverance, and urging them to dream as big as possible, and he said, “Do you know why a lion doesn’t chase chipmunks? He knows if he does, he’ll starve to death.”

My first reaction was wow, that makes a lot of sense. Pouring my time and energy into busywork is a great way to burn myself out without accomplishing anything I’m proud of or receiving a sustainable reward. It’s the reason I don’t write $5 content mill articles. It’s also the reason I tend to let the apartment get messy when I’m working on a midterm project or trying to finish NaNo–having a clutter-free coffee table is nowhere near as important as polishing my short story.

But then I started thinking about a conversation I recently had with my supervisor, Teresa. She told me the story of a freelancer we work with–the freelancer timed her switch from a 9-5 to freelance life poorly, leaving her company when another member of her team was on maternity leave so that the company ended up feeling forced into a corner to work with her freelance  because they didn’t have the in-house resources to cover her work while they found someone new. The freelancer also apparently asked to be paid a steep hourly rate–nearly twice what Teresa’s encountered other, more experienced freelancers charging. Her company cut her off as soon as they could. Our company still works with her, so I guess that’s a sign that being a little pushy can get you what you need, but she comes off as greedy and a little underhanded in how she went after her goal.

Working for goals too small can kill your spirit.

Setting your goals too high can cross the line from assertiveness into entitlement, or can leave you with nothing at all.

I’m only 3 years postgrad myself, so I am still figuring things out. It occurs to me, though, that although the lion will die if he only eats tiny chipmunks, he won’t be any better off only trying to catch the strongest, fastest antelope. And in fact, by claiming the older or weaker animals, the lion not only satisfies his hunger without working to exhaustion, but strengthens the herd.

So my advice this year for graduates is this: Know what kind of animal you are. Know what you need to fuel your goals and do not underestimate or cheat yourself from going for what inspires you. But don’t undervalue the ones around you, either. Creativity, passion, drive, and innovation reach far enough to benefit more than one.

Gearing Up for Summer

The blog hiatus was an unplanned one, but very much needed and appreciated. This has been an eye-opening semester, full of great writing from all over the world and seeing just about everything as a potential book. My final project for my Literary Publications class was a nontraditional book, which I will show you later this week. I finished up last week with about half a dozen new flash pieces, sections that can turn into larger stories, and a revised version of a story that was a lot of fun to write.

This summer, the plan is to write lots, read lots, wander museums in pursuit of my ekphrastic independent study, plan the rest of the wedding, get fit for said wedding, get back into the writing-submission game, find a new place to live, and go on a mission trip. Relaxed yet? For those reasons, I am not promising to also commit to a rigorous new blog schedule, although my goal is to resume posting on a (roughly) weekly basis. Here’s to the summer of changes.

Happy Women’s Day!

I thought I’d already missed International Women’s Day, but turns out it’s today! I first heard about the existence of this day in Spain, from my super-feminist Spanish Women’s Studies teacher, who made us hold hands in a circle and talked about how all women have goddesses inside them or some such. A little weird, but celebrating women = still a great idea!

My Favorite Female Authors (in no particular order):

  1. Madeleine L’Engle
  2. Margaret Atwood
  3. Joyce Carol Oates
  4. Suzanne Collins
  5. J.K. Rowling
  6. Ingeborg Bachmann
  7. Emily Bronte
  8. Francesca Lia Block
  9. Angela Carter
  10. Dorothy Parker

Favorite Female Authors Who I Plan to Read This Year

  1. Amy Hempel
  2. Isabel Allende
  3. Maya Angelou
  4. Joan Didion
  5. Jodi Picoult
  6. Emily Dickinson
  7. Shirley Jackson
  8. Toni Morrison
  9. Flannery O’Connor
  10. Zadie Smith

Bossypants

I fell right off the edge of the world for a while there, didn’t I? It’s been a busy stretch (and midterms hasn’t even hit yet, Lord help me). Anyway, I am ducking in to do more than announce that I am still alive: I have just finally now gotten around to reading Bossypants, by Tina Fey, and if you have not, it is time you did too, especially if you are too busy to read anything.

Bossypants is, largely, a memoir of the development of a comedian and lady boss who is (just a little) frustrated sometimes that people are still shocked that a woman can be in charge of something that is not the kitchen. It is gaspingly funny. Some favorite moments for me include the time in college she hiked a mountain in hopes of some light fondling and maybe some dry humping her partner at the top, the crappy receptionist job where her only joy was passive-aggressively cutting the unlock-door buzzer off too short so people would still be locked out when they pushed the door handle, and anything involving her dad.

Tina Fey, for those of you who (like me) climbed out from under your rock this morning and said, “Wait–she was the one who was Sarah Palin that one time, right?” manages to be bright and attractive and still take unabashed delight in being awkward. She’s the ugly duckling who grew up and then decided being the duckling was more interesting, anyway.

At any rate, I laughed a lot even though anytime I looked away from the book, I was stunned by how much homework I had left to do. Speaking of, I need to go read stories thoughtfully and slice fancy art-store paper into 5.5 x 7.75 pieces for my midterm book, but I will be back soon!

Who’s Your Ideal Reader?

In International Fiction this week, we’ve been reading a (tiny) sample of Russian writing, including Nabokov’s wonderful essay, ”Good Readers and Good Writers.” One of the class writing prompts was to take a page from Nabokov and consider who our ideal reader would be. It’s an eye-opening exercise that I would recommend to any writer. I realized I had a more specific experience in mind than I thought I did when I daydream/hope about how someone will feel reading my work. My thoughts are below. Tell me about your imagined reader in the comments!

My ideal reader, first and foremost, would have to be fascinated by people. This is partly just on the surface level: As a writer, I am primarily interested in people and relationships, and details like place and appearances get filled in later, if at all. Even plot is more or less a peripheral element for me; it’s a vehicle to bring people into the situation where they will reveal themselves. If my reader isn’t interested in people, he or she isn’t going to be my reader for very long.

My reader, as a person, would be sensitive and imaginative and would see reading as a collaborative exercise. I have a hard time right now gauging how overt or subtle my stories are, but I value subtlety. I like subtext. I like writing a conversation where you can hear the echo of another conversation underneath in what isn’t being said, and it takes a sensitive writer and reader to know how to approach such a conversation so that those echoes materialize. I like to explore gestures. I don’t often tell as much as I maybe should about my characters’ clothing or hair or eye color, but I like my reader to know how they move, because I think body language is the easiest way to read someone’s mind. Maybe that’s because I am a fidgeter with a wide range of tics. My reader would have the sustained imagination to see my character in movement throughout the story, and the sensitivity to see the shifts of emotion in the changes in gesture and the cues in conversation. I would want my reader to temporarily become my characters (rather than relate to them), which is why it would be important for my reader to have a spirit of collaboration. It would ideally be almost like an actor doing a study of a character he or she was going to play, getting rid of his or her innate patterns and taking on a new persona to understand a life through a different lens.

The other reason I want my reader to love people is that I want him or her to be so consumed that “person-ness” goes beyond humanity. I want my reader to leave my writing thinking of my story as a kind of person. I don’t mean thinking of the characters as “real,” although that is an element of what I’m envisioning. I think a really good, well-written story ends up having a mood and an idea and a manner of expression that blend together and form a personality. That is why I reread books I love, and why I would want readers to come back to my stories: the story itself becomes someone you want to spend time with. I sometimes pick up particular books when I’m troubled about something, not because the content or plot has a lesson I need, or the book features a character going through my problem, but because the whole story itself has a personality of probing, curiosity, reproach, authority, encouragement, or inspiration that touches something in me.

Ray Bradbury wrote in Zen and the Art of Writing that you should read poetry every day even if you don’t understand it on any level you recognize, because your ganglion will understand. Sometimes when I am in those troubled moods I will read on autopilot and end up talking out loud to the book, saying, “yes, I know what you mean,” or, “but how do I get there?” and it’s because my ganglion is in conversation with the personality of this particular book.

When I was little, I called certain favorite books of mine “oatmeal books.” They weren’t about oatmeal, and didn’t necessarily share a theme or style, or any other characteristic other than the emotional response they brought out in me. I absolutely could not articulate what I meant by that when I was a kid, and it’s hard even now, although in my head I know precisely what I mean. The closest I can get is to compare it to that moment of resonance other people have described, of the thrum of finding a story that works so well that it makes you feel like an extension of it. As a child, I probably picked the word “oatmeal” thinking intuitively of something with warmth and weight, but it also had an element of the inevitable and necessary. When it was a winter morning, you were fundamentally entitled to a bowl of hot oatmeal, as a human being. When I hit that certain reading mood, I would have ripped the house apart to find one of my oatmeal books. I craved this kind of reading experience as intently as any physical need, and when I had it, I was enveloped in a state of complete peace and comfort, even if the book was sad, because I had connected with the exact right book. The ideal, of course, would be to create something like that.

My Proud Moment This Week

It’s been a busy week. I’m taking on another big book at work and copyediting it myself. It’s cool because the book is about neuropsychology, which is at least tangentially in my field (Media Culture was half psychology). It’s stressful because the book is over 1100 pages and it’s on a tight turnaround. Today was mostly editing references.

Sometimes I have weeks where I feel like I’m getting lots done, but not going anywhere. Today would have been one of those weeks. I can dismiss what I do during the day job as being a separate category from the personal goals I set for myself. I haven’t been to the gym in weeks because I’ve been exhausted, and it’s frustrating to think I’m at least appearing to be the out-in-February failed-resolution crowd. I got the last piece of homework done in class as the professor was setting up.

But what I’m really proud of is that even if a lot of other things felt rushed or missing this week, and even if it was only one day, I wrote this week. Even though I was tired last night, I ended up finishing some homework early, so I pulled up my story, and made it to the end. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, either. There are some vague moments that could get teased out more and a paragraph or two that I’m not sure I’ll keep, but I like the concept of it and the way my experiment is paying off. It’s my little triumph of the week, finishing an edit on that story, so even though my shoulders are sore from sitting in this office chair all day, I am feeling good, heading into the weekend.

Reading for Writers

A friend of mine contacted me the other day because she’s interested in getting into writing more seriously and wanted to talk about how to get started. It was wonderful because it’s always an ego boost when people think you’re good enough at something to ask for your thoughts, and because having lunch with a friend and talking about books and writing sounds like an ideal way to spend a few hours of a Saturday afternoon.

I was putting together some recommendations, books and blogs and magazines that have helped shape my understanding of what being a writer means, so it only seems fair that I would share them here:

The Books

  1. On Writing Well, by William Zinsser. One of those perfect books on structure and craft. His focus on clarity, strength, and confidence in writing is as applicable to poetry as nonfiction, copywriting, blogging, or novels.
  2. Becoming a Writer, by Dorothea Brande. An oldie, originally published in 1934. This book addresses “personality problems” like writer’s block, how to balance reading well and writing well, developing a writing schedule, and so forth.
  3. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott and Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg. A Zen follower and poet, Goldberg is a legendary writing guru. Her writing philosophy combines deep introspection and moment-by-moment awareness in a writing style that feels to me like creative meditation. Anne Lamott’s book is named after a memory of her brother panicking at the thought of tackling an overwhelming ornithological project. Her father’s advice, “Just take it bird by bird, buddy,” is perfect for novelists working to break past the “Chapter 1–now what?” hurdle.
  4. The Well-Fed Writer, by Peter Bowerman. Because being a starving writer in a garret isn’t half as romantic as it seems (and it doesn’t even seem that romantic). Bowerman delivers practical tips for starting and running a lucrative freelance writing biz. His lively, engaging voice is like having a session with a career coach, no-nonsense and encouraging at the same time.

The Magazines

  1. Poets & Writers (more literary)
  2. Writer’s Digest (more commercial/consumer magazine)
  3. The Writer (excellent for beginners, has the most articles on developing writing skill)

The Blogs

  1. Carol Tice’s www.makealivingwriting.com (freelance how-tos)
  2. Ali Luke’s www.aliventures.com (fiction and creating a strong blog platform)
  3. Copyblogger’s www.copyblogger.com/blog (copywriting and blogging)

Which writing books, blogs, and magazines do you find most helpful?