The way that I know I’ve moved out? This year, my mom put me on the list of people who are responsible for bringing something for Passover. I got pretty low-key items: I’m in charge of providing the parsley and the matzah (also, my mom asked me something like six times if I’d gotten the curly parsley, not the flat kind). Still, matzah meant I brought the Afikomen, which is a critical part of the Seder, so I’m feeling pretty pleased!
But even knowing that every time we dipped parsley in salt water, we were dipping something I’d contributed paled this year in comparison to what I got to say. The best part about Passover this year was that I got to share some fantastic news with my family: I’m engaged!
Sooo, that’s the reason I’ve been quiet here for a bit. I haven’t been able to stop smiling for the past two weeks, and I definitely wasn’t going to be able to write a proper post without the news slipping out. Um, yes. I’ve definitely started planning our wedding already, and I get all blushy and giddy and absolutely silly about this, which I’m thinking is what I should be, considering I’m still slightly surprised when I look at my hand and see this glittery thing sitting there .
Here’s what I’ve learned about the wedding industry so far: it is terrifying. It’s not the enormity of it that scares me the most (although the fact that I’ve read novels slimmer than Bride magazine is a wild thought), or even the money factor (news, for those of you who have never heard of getting married: weddings in the U.S. cost, on average, as much as a year’s college tuition. A year’s tuition at a private college. Out of state.). What scares me the most is that popular sites talk about weddings using the language of a performance. I did a little summer theater in high school (incidentally, how I met the fiance), and what I gleaned from that experience is that if something is a performance, than typically at least one person involved is acting. Not a good start to a marriage.
So what I want to promise said fiance now, before the stress of flowers and DJs and caterers and other accessories to this moment kicks in, is that I will not forget why we are here. We will not have a perfect day. We will not have a perfect life. We are not perfect people. But we believe we are right for each other, in every imperfect moment of the rest of our lives, and that is more beautiful than any cake or dress. I love you always.